So...here I am..sitting on my deck...listening to the sounds of Seattle at midnight.
A couple of cars here and there, an airplane flying by.
Mostly it's calming silence.
I'm actually really proud of myself right now. I'm not freaking out. I'm not complaining about what didn't go exactly right tonight. Don't get me wrong, it was stressful, and not everything went according to plan...but it wasn't so bad.... Why am I trying not to freak out, you ask? Well... it's my first time doing this. Stage managing that is. I don't want to mess up and I'm mostly flying by the seat of my pants.... (with the exception of some well sought out advise by my wonderful friends Becca and Nico...cause they are two of the most amazing SM's I've ever known.) But, what I'm discovering is that...perhaps, I'm just naturally good at this. I've received several compliments about how smoothly these first two nights of tech have gone. And I think it's because I've come into tech with this scary idea that I heard somewhere...that it's going to be hell. But, hell by who's standards....? and so it got me thinking..and what I've decided is this...
...I acknowledge that not everything will go just as I planned...and that if I'm not comfortable with something I will re-do it...or have people re-run something...and hey that's o.k. I will let go of everything at the end of the night. I will move forward with positivity and I will not let my stress, stress anyone else out.
I've heard some truly horrible tech week story's. Heck, I've been part of some truly terrible tech weeks.
My ultimate goal, is to not have those this time.
After all, I'm working with some of the best actors ever. They are gracious and kind and really a great group to be around. I hope to keep each of them in my circle for a very long time. Our designers, and production team is really terrific. They are on top of everything, and always keep me in the loop. This really has been a collaborative piece of art.
The doubts and the fears are easing with each day. I know that the people on stage have my back, and I have theirs.
So, while I know that not everything will go according to this grand plan I have, I hope that I have the sense to appreciate what wonderful people I'm working with, and what a fabulous end result we will have. Because no matter what, that curtain will go up on Friday night.
And I will be ready.